How to Find Balance

After experiencing a few days of despair at the current crazy and divisive state of politics in the United States, I realized I needed to find some daily balance in my life and not get submerged in the onslaught of bad news. Many of you said you were feeling the same way, and shared your ideas.

While some of you directly admitted to finding it difficult: "What balance? It’s a fresh new hell every day. My stomach is a pit of anxiety and anger at everything that is going on," others took a more ironic approach: "I read news that only supports my side so I feel justified and smug in my thinking, or news that doesn't support my side so I can yell and complain about how wrong it is." But you all agreed that even if it takes a lot of effort and some days nothing works at all, there are techniques for keeping our heads above water. I've listed them under two headings: Limit News Intake and Take Action. Dive in and see if you can grab on to one or more of these ideas as a flotation device. Don't miss the two happy tidings tucked into the text (a prize-winning pun and a boy's birth.)

LIMIT NEWS INTAKE

• "Each day, I make a conscious decision how much news and social media I will expose myself to."

• "I limit the amount of time I give to news consumption to less than 30 minutes a day, and often it is less than that."

• "My advice is, just turn it off !" 

• "I find that reading my news as opposed to watching it on TV helps me to see more sides of an issue, as I can often read multiple reports about the same topic." 

• "Put down the phone and do something distracting."

• "I don’t watch the main news streams. I watch news for teens."

• "I recommend getting a separate email address for all politics related emails. Only check it when you want."

• "My friends and I started a separate thread for sharing news articles. That way we can avoid seeing even the headlines at certain times. We also have a "no obligation to read" policy. Sometimes there’s an article or video we want to share, but it’s understood that the recipients don’t have to read it or watch it for whatever reason."

  
  

TAKE ACTION

It's pretty much always true in life that taking action helps get us out of any form of imbalance, anxiety or depression. So when the world seems topsy-turvy, take action: everyday action, philosophical action, or political action. Any action!

Everyday Action

• Move: Chop wood, clean, have sex, go for a long  walk, take a hike, cook dinner, bake a cake, exercise (to work off the cake). The most important is turning off the TV and telephone.

• Do word games like New York Times Connections and Wordle every morning. Share with friends or family on a thread for extra connection.

• Do free sudokus online!  It's a great distraction. Here's a link. https://sudoku.com/hard/

• Watch TV. One respondent always has one series to watch. Another has been watching Family, a TV show from the 1970’s:  "All of the episodes can be found on YouTube.  The storylines are nuanced and the characters relate to one another with love and integrity - even when they’re upset with each other. It reminds me of a so-called simpler time but more importantly, it reminds me that most people want to be better than the people who are now in charge of us."

• Talk with others who feel similarly about the current state of politics - while it doesn't solve the problem, it feels good to know others feel the same way.

• Talk with others who don't feel the same way - maybe you'll learn something.

• Read history books about people who faced difficult times and came through. Read a good fiction book. "I try to read for pleasure every day, even if it's just a few minutes."

• Work. "Work can be all consuming and take me away from political strife."

• Listen to music

• Play some loud guitar

• Play piano

• Make future plans (Go to the the Matisse and Chagall museums in Nice, hang out at the beach, visit my grandson, Luca)

• Study Mussar (living an ethical life through the lense of the Torah)

• Knit (maybe a sweater for Andrew John Bourque born today to Joe and Hannah Bourque!)

• Bake some bread whenever you knead to get away.

  (I hereby award this suggestion the first kb Bun Pun Prize.)

  
  

Congratulations to baby and baker (who shall remain anonymous for now)

Philosophical Action

• Connect. Spend time with friends and family. "Connecting to friends and people I love makes me feel more balanced."

• Rebel. Find some way!

• Do for others. "I try to focus on things that I can influence or change in my world. While it's important to be aware of what is happening in the country and the world, there are things that I can do to make my part of the world better, and the best way to keep myself in a healthy place includes doing for others. I don't always have time to do as much as I would like, but lifting my eyes out of my own problems and focusing on those around me who have needs always makes me feel better."

• Be Kind. "One thing I try to do is just to be kinder. The cruelty coming from Washington needs to be undone in big ways, but I try to do it in little ways. I try to be kind to strangers. I’ll give a compliment or just thank them for whatever job they might be doing for me as a customer. I’ll hold the door open even if I have to wait a few seconds. I’ll let people in front of me while I’m driving and try to be more patient while driving in general. It helps me remember that it really isn’t hard to be good to others. In fact, it is quite easy and much more pleasant. Hopefully that energy will spread. It helps me to see that we are all going to struggle through this together."

• Pray. "I spend time in prayer every day, which helps calm my anxieties a lot." 

• Pet power. "My perfect and amazingly cute dog almost always makes me smile." "I feel peaceful sitting on my patio with my cat in my lap."

• Remember history. "I remind myself of all the times in history people have had to suffer through a really hard period of time. In the end I think justice will win."

• Focus on what you can control.

• Find joy. "I remember the recent lessons I’ve learned about Judaism that allows and even demands that you find joy in life no matter what is happening around you. How many months have I wasted worrying? No one thing can stop you from enjoying your life."  

Take Political Action

Get involved. Speaking up can make a difference, for you and for the world.

• Call your state representatives. "I try to call on one issue per day using the

  5calls app (https://5calls.org) as a guide. I usually call my congressman and the two state senators." You can also find numbers for your reps online and call about whatever issues are important to you.

• Write your state representatives. E-mail addresses are easy to find online. Your reps have online email forms you can use to send messages. "I write e-mails several times per week. Each time, I write one complaint e-mail and one thank you e-mail, to encourage those that have taken bold action (towards upholding the Constitution, for example.) Writing the thank you e-mails encourages me, too, and help me not only see the negative side of things."

• Donate to organizations that need help.

• Donate to news outlets that shine a light on all the things the administration is trying to hide. 

• Volunteer

• Go to a rally

• Utilize facts. "I fire off a fact-based post on facebook or instagram; I know it won't change minds but it feels good to stand up in a factual way and it lets others know I am continuing to fight against misinformation."

Thanks for sharing your ideas!