What makes you joyful?

A few weeks ago (or maybe more, it seems everything is taking me a long time these days), I had a conversation with friends about joy that went sort of like this:

Friend 1: I’ve been wondering lately what parts of life I feel truly enthusiastic about. What is it, other than New York Times word games and coffee, that I look forward to getting to do each day? And if there are not a ton of things, is it possible to infuse more positive feelings into the things that I do?

Friend 2: I feel that joy comes less easily than it used to. For me, it just feels like more effort to experience joy. I think about it a lot. I feel a lot of pressure with work, and taking care of my mom,  and money and life changing so quickly all the time, and I still haven't hiked the Appalachian Trail and so many other things that I thought I would have done by now. Plus I'm just so aware of so much suffering all around me.  Some days I wake up and feel happy and content and at peace. It feels random.  I try to set an intention to find joy and pay attention to what I feel drawn to. Coffee and NY times games are definitely a part of my day that I look forward to.   I wish it were easier.  

Friend 3 (regarding an unexpected encounter with joy):

I'd been worrying about how little joy I’ve been feeling recently. Then I had afternoon coffee with a woman I knew from my son's high school, but didn’t know really well. We just served on the parent's association together and her son also loves sports. Anyway, circumstances brought us together on text and we met yesterday for a lot longer than I think either of us thought we'd meet. I'd describe our two hours together as joyful. It was as though everything else in the world didn't exist during that time. Nothing was hard. Nothing felt uncomfortable. There was an absence of all judgement and a presence of trust. (Also we were in the coolest coffee/book/plant shop -- I can't believe something like that exists in my town!) I felt a special camaraderie with this woman who faces some of the same challenges I do as a person and as a parent. We laughed together about everything I cry about when alone. This is a long-winded way of saying that relationships with people I trust and who see even a sliver of me as I am bring me the most joy I could imagine having in life. Giving that same joy to others is a part of it. It's not just about what I'm receiving.

I wanted to continue this conversation about joy, so I asked all of you, What makes you feel joyful?  Read on, and thanks for sharing your personal joys with kelliebooks.

What Makes You Feel Joyful?

GIVING

• Helping others.

• Sometimes if I'm feeling joyless or down, I try to find a way to give some joy to someone else instead. I send an email to my Aunt who lives alone, or call a friend who is sick.

• Spending quality time with my family.

  
  

RECEIVING

Comedy brings joy.

• Good comedy is like taking an upper.

• Delicious food.

• Sitting outside with just the right amount of sun and heat on me.

• Waking up well rested.

• Being the recipient of a kind gesture.

• When someone gives me the gift of removing a chore from my task list by doing it for me. Not that anyone around here helps me that much now that I think of it! I think it counts if I remove the task as a gift to myself. 

• Seeing generosity in others - not necessarily directed at me. 

• A really good book that you have just finished and can’t stop thinking about. 

• Wonderful literature and cinema.

• Positive interactions with friends.

• Indulging in a Reese's Peanut Butter Egg.

Tom (blue hat) looks joyful - did he win?

ACCOMPLISHING

• Playing tennis well—especially when my partners and I win.

• Writing an item that has even more positive characteristics than I had imagined.

• A good day at work, where you know your efforts have made an impact.

• I watched a video on how to fix a jammed garbage disposal. It worked! Instant joy!

  Reading a really good book.

• Playing piano is the quickest way to inject myself with joy. It just feels (and sometimes sounds) good.

• Singing my grandson to sleep after trying for three hours.

• Winning at Wordle

or JUST DOING

Beach Joy

• A bike ride in a bucolic setting.

• Walking in nature.

• Moments of musical delight, especially singing a good harmony.

• Watching my grandson roll around on the floor or try to crawl like an inchworm.

• Pretty much everything one can do at the beach on a beautiful day. 

• Drinking coffee.

• Sharing the Joy!

FEELING...

• that my spouse and children are doing well, knowing that they know I love them and that they love me.

• that students I teach are responding well to my instruction.

• uplifting moments of spiritual awareness.

• my children in their ultimate happy places (figuratively speaking).

• fit.

• a peace of mind.

• my Dad's smile and twinkling eyes.

BEING...

• immersed in water.

• immersed in laughter.

  
  

A secret to ponder: The root of joy is gratefulness...It is not joy that makes us grateful; it is gratitude that makes us joyful.