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Hair, husbands and the healing power of friends

Updated: Mar 21, 2022

Yesterday I got my hair cut short. After seeing a photo of myself looking pretty good with bangs, I convinced myself it could work again. Nevermind the photo was from 30 years ago, I've always had an unsubstantiated belief that if only I find the perfect haircut, my truly good looks will suddenly be revealed. An almost infinite number of haircuts proving the contrary has never completely stamped out this false hope.

So off I went, boldly telling the newly recommended hairdresser to cut it very short. With bangs. I showed her the photo. I knew I was going to feel great afterwards. Only, I didn't. I started getting the haircut-is-not-what-I-expected-feeling, akin to the haircut-gone-bad sensation. Plus the short enough to be bangs but too long to stay out of my eyes kept flipping into my face, forcing me to pin them back, thus defeating the plan. Worse, the rest of my hair was indeed short, but not enough to avoid looking puffy.

As the haircut began its slow but sure attack on my admittedly misplaced self-confidence, I sent a text to my husband with a hopeful warning: New Haircut Very Short. But could be worse. Translation: I feel bad about my haircut and hope you'll say something nice when you see me.

Later the same day at home...

Husband: Hello.

Me: Hello.

A few minutes later...

Me: I got my haircut.

Husband: Yes.

Me (to myself): Yes? Did he just say Yes? What about the common but appreciated It looks great, or the arguably more subtle It is short but you still look beautiful, or the very handy you always look great to me. Yes?

With little patience, and clearly even less dignity, I replied:

That's not an answer; it's too short.

He lengthened:

Bangs are bizarre and I have never liked them. I'm not sure what you want me to say.

I was about to suggest the acceptable answer choices above, when he added "ce n'est pas moche."

Now, ce n'est pas moche from the mouth of the typically understated Frenchman or woman can mean "it's not bad" or even "it's almost pretty good." It can. But what it really, literally means is "it's not ugly". It's not ugly...

Left with no self-esteem-based-on-haircut relief in sight, I gave up on husband and starting texting my girlfriend instead, which I should have done in the first place! We talked about our mutual hair problems, my short puffy disaster and her recent unfortunate helmet head, sent each other photos, along with a few compliments dredged up from any positive aspects we could find, along with slightly more honest ones like, "It'll look great once you wash it, oh sorry you already did?" and, "the left side looks nice."

Classic Helmet Head (sample not real friend)

Suddenly I felt not only better, but great. I was laughing, I was motivated, and more amazing, I even started liking my haircut.

Real friend (not sample)

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Mar 18, 2022

“If only I find the perfect haircut…”. Thank you for your humorous and entirely relatable post!

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